B.A.N.F. Cotton

High up on the slopes of Mt. Fuji in Japan's back country there lives a herd of carefully attended Alpacas. The Mountain glows at night with strange lights and the locals are baffled to find in the mornings that the baby alpacas who were fully furry the night before are now meticulously sheered. Little do they know there exists a race of extra terrestrials who abduct these baby alpacas at night and sheer them for their nut fur, their precious luxurious nut fur.

And..... everyone knows that baby alpaca nut fur is the softest fur in the galaxy. Worth its weight in gold it is!

The E.T.'s carefully hand pluck each strand with surgical precision weaving them together as if they were a space cowboy version of Rumplestiltskin and, sell them to fund their inter-galactic activism group "Aliens for the Ethical Treatment of Lower Lifeforms". It is at great personal cost that I purchase this cotton from them, can it,  and bring it you... because I love you.

"Ethically Abducted" 100% Organic Japanese Cotton

Note:

- This is a joke... Cotton doesn't come from Alpacas it comes from Plants and B.A.N.F is 100% unbleached Organic Japanese Cotton. No Alpaca's were harmed.